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Getting married is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever
make. You are entrusting the rest of your life into the care of another
human being and sharing everything forever is a big commitment to make.But there are many out there who may have rushed into things a
little too quickly because they didn’t take time to know their partners.
That is why courtship is an important stage in a couple’s relationship.
It is a time for couples to get to know each other well. It’s a
time to know the likes and dislikes of your would be husband or wife. It
is also time to know their values, beliefs and stand on some important
issues such as finance, parenting, marriage and settling disputes.
Unfortunately, many young men and women don’t use their courtship
period well. They only spend time kissing, having sex and visiting
different places. They don’t pay attention to important details about
their partners that can cause problems in their marriages later. They
don’t know how their partners react under stress or their stand on
domestic violence, cheating and divorce.
Courtship is not the time to put up with negative behaviours
because you don’t want another woman or man to snatch your partner. It
is not the time for ladies to prove the quality of their wife material
by slaving away in their partner’s kitchens and on their beds. It is not
the time for men to impress their partners with their fat bank accounts
and build castles in the air.
So here are the things you must do with your potential spouse before you walk up that aisle.
Understand your partner’s life goals
If you don’t know your partner’s life goals, then ask. You have to
go into marriage knowing what you both want out of life – both
individually and as a couple. And remember that while marriages always
involve some form of sacrifices on both sides, no one should give up
their dreams for the other person.
Have arguments
You need to know that you can handle the inevitable rows and be
able to move on from them. Arguments are never pleasant but are often
necessary to air things and can actually make a relationship stronger.
But if you are with someone who handles them in the worst possible way,
marriage could be tricky.
Meet both parents
Two people planning to get married should meet each other’s
families. It’s always best to iron out any differences or awkwardness
that comes with meeting parents and family members of your fiancé. These
people will become a huge part of your life when you eventually get
married.
Get to know each other’s friends
Meet your partner’s friends and find out the kind of crowd he or
she moves with. You shouldn’t leave such an important aspect of your
partner’s to chance. Get to know his or her friends and build
relationships with them too. It will help you both in the long run.
Explore each other’s s*xuality
S*x isn’t the beginning and end of a relationship but it’s very
important. Even if you don’t want to have s*x before marriage, you
should at least discuss it. If you are not s*xually compatible, you
could be signing up for a pretty tense and satisfactory marriage.
Experience financial stress as a team
Money worries are the top reason for marriage breakdowns so you
need to practise how you will overcome these things as a team first.
Know what your partner earns or makes from their business and plan your
financial future carefully and together before you walk down the aisle.
Show your bad habits
There’s no point in pretending to be someone you are not because
you want to get married. Ensure your partner loves you for who you are.
If they can’t cope with your snoring, belching or nail chewing, then
it’s best that you find out now and decide what you want to do.
Apologise and mean it
You have to know how to say sorry. Make sure you can prove to your
partner that you are man or woman enough to hold your hands up when you
are wrong. The respect you will win will be massive.
Disagree but stick to your guns
You also have to show your partner that you will stand by your
views too. Of course you should compromise, but no one wants to be with
someone who always backs down. It’s all about respect again. Your
partner should know the deal breakers in your relationship.
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By: Kate Halim for Daily Sun
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