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When Kabiru a tall, slim, dark-skinned and averagely handsome young
man in his late 20s first spotted Ngozi at the Yaba area of Lagos State
in April, 2016, he never knew fate was going to bring them together
romantically in the nearest future. Kabiru, a native of Osun State,
South-western part of Nigeria had just moved to Lagos State in June,
2015 for economic reasons.He was on a journalistic assignment and had to complete an
editorial work at his company's private quarters with a colleague when
he set his eyes on her. Ngozi resided in one of the numerous apartments
in a highly populated four-storey building that housed seeming
low-income earners in Lagos State. Ngozi's large family shared a
one-bedroomed apartment with the company's lodge. The only thing Kabiru
observed about her at first sight was her availability and smile as he
conducted an interview via telephone.
"You have many ladies in this area. It must be fun staying here" Kabiru told his colleague after spotting several females swarming the company's apartment like a customer-care centre.
"Nothing special, they are just our friends and neighbours" the colleague responded with a big grin.
Kabiru's colleague, Jibrin had just relocated from Kaduna State to
work in Lagos State. Due to the high cost of living at the commercial
epicentre of Nigeria, he was forced to reside at the company's quarters
pending on when he would raise enough money to rent his own apartment
and acquire appropriate properties. Kabiru also had his fair share of
financial challenges. He slept in his aunt’s living room on a 6 inches,
3.5 Ft X 6 Ft X student bed while he aggressively saved funds to restore
his dignity as a man.
Jibrin offered Kabiru some Tiger Nuts as he prepared for the phone
interview of an eminent politician in Nigeria. Kabiru carelessly almost
started eating them without washing but Ngozi who watched from a
distance came from nowhere and grabbed the fruits. The light-skinned
hand was like that of a ghost but Kabiru smiled in surprise. She dashed
off to the kitchen, rinsed the fruits and served them on a plate before
Kabiru.
"Thank you so much" he told her.
"You're welcome" Ngozi responded as she left the room.
The initial encounter ended there until 8 months later when Kabiru
was technically kicked out of his aged aunt's house. Kabiru endured a
frosty relationship with his aunt until his perseverance level was
stretched to the limit. Kabiru later joined his two other colleagues in
the company's apartment where two big bedrooms were expensively
furnished for workers.
Kabiru was later told that Ngozi had left the house for her
National Youth Service Corp programme in Oyo State. Due to the proximity
of Lagos and Oyo States, Ngozi spent some of her weekends in Lagos.
According to Kabiru, he never thought he could ever develop any feelings
for Ngozi as they never had any personal talks for a long period of
time. Kabiru was at that time in a serious relationship with one
Morenike in Osogbo, Osun State and aside that, Ngozi appeared too "Jew"
for him.
"I think there was never a way I could have been attracted to her as I am a man who is always moved by what he sees" Kabiru said while speaking with the reporter.
"Ngozi at some point didn't care about her physical appearance.
Most times, her hair was left untidy or she purposely went for the
worst hair styles due to financial issues and she had a way of tying her
mother's wrapper around her body like she was in the medieval period" he jokingly added.
Kabiru would later admit that she appeared to him as a good girl
who coordinated the affairs of the house including managing her
exuberant younger ones in the absence of her parents. Most especially,
Ngozi’s intimate connection with an adorable baby living with her family
won the heart of Kabiru; he felt she had a good heart. Kabiru struggled
with his relationship in silence. He noticed Ngozi and himself started
talking more in the kitchen whenever he went to wash his food flask to
convey food to work as he wasn't comfortable with eating out.
"She was always complaining of her Place of Primary Assignment -
a secondary school where she claimed to be over-worked without pay. I
gave her regular advice about how to manage NYSC challenges effectively.
She had a way of smiling at me then which was an indication that I
stood a chance if I wanted her but that wasn't concrete enough.” he said.
Shortly after Ngozi's NYSC programme, she joked about supporting
her future fiance with part of her bride price - a sum total of N250,000
according to traditional rites of her hometown – Umudike, Abia State.
Kabiru enjoyed the talk and laughed about being interested in marrying
her among his colleagues. Jibrin who was present wouldn’t take the gist
with a pinch of salt as he made a consistent claim that the duo had
started dating. The joke seemed enjoyable initially but it started
getting to the parties involved.
Kabiru had reservations about dating Ngozi due to the proximity of
their abodes. Relationships could be unpredictable and he was wary of
being involved in any dirty rivalry with his neighbour over a failed
relationship as well as other possible minor skirmishes. Ngozi's plum
size was another source of concern to him but he was thrilled by her
level of intelligence. She was academically sound and had views one
should be proud of. Kabiru could be regarded as a sapiosexual person;
hence, his easy attraction to Ngozi.
Kabiru and Ngozi would later agree on Whatsapp to start dating as
she saw nothing odious about being involved with her next door
neighbour. Ngozi's 'Born Again' stance discouraged Kabiru as he
predicted a clash in values and personal standards. Kabiru, a Christian,
in his deepest thoughts hoped to enjoy the full benefits of romance
with Ngozi without resistance. She was blessed with a flawless
light-skin, firm and massive bosom, fresh lips, considerable height and
an 'up and coming' bum. Only if Kabiru knew there was more to that good
girl with innocent smiles. Ngozi was tired of the wall she built around
herself according to her Christian faith and she was eager to demolish
them.
"I was stunned when Ngozi offered to kiss me during a late
night chat on Whatsapp. It was around 2am and she wanted to taste my
lips which she secretly admired from my Instagram pictures" Kabiru averred with a lasting smile.
Kabiru who has a history of being 'shady' sneaked out of the room
as his roommate chased his dreams with his eyes closed to wait for Ngozi
in the restroom attached to his apartment which wasn't too close to the
rooms. There was a pin-drop silence everywhere except for the crickets
and other insects as the mammoth crowd in the drab building were in deep
sleep. Lagosians are hard workers and they seldom joke with their night
rest to recover the needed energy for the following day.
Ngozi later joined him looking so scared of being caught. She
appeared so innocent and even lacked kissing skills. She was totally
unromantic and her too-decent appearance betrayed her intentions. Kabiru
was so impressed with her for taking the risk which could be
detrimental if they were caught. Kabiru kissed and hugged her closely as
he whispered 'Thank You' into her ear. Ngozi dashed off to her house as
Kabiru waited behind in the bathroom to avoid suspicions.
This was a watershed moment in their relationship. The love grew
bigger every day. Dating Ngozi gave him the feeling of hitting a
jackpot. Ngozi had just been with a single guy all her life about 6
months before they met, so she was very much in good shape. The duo
attended Church together, ate together, stayed up at night talking
passionately and planning out their future. Cute pictures of the duo
flooded Kabiru’s social media pages with congratulatory messages
recorded in the comment sections of their pictures. Gradually, the
so-called 'Born Again' sister became a pro in romance. She would gather
information online and practicalize on her good-looking man. In no time,
the student took the position of the lecturer and the lecturer became
the student in the ‘other room’.
But the relationship wasn't perfect just like life itself. Ngozi
suffered from chronic 'self-entitlement' problems. She believes her
partner owes her and this is a common mentality among the majority of
ladies in Lagos. Ngozi's penchant for money was typical of an Igbo
person as many would always say. Her needs were unnecessarily endless
and her happiness was costly. It was as if Kabiru adopted an adult
daughter as Ngozi became his sole responsibility. He never knew he was
apparently shining a shoe for a highest bidder to put on. In explicit
political terms, he was running an ‘interim administration’. Kabiru, a
low-income earner struggled and suffered in silence but he consoled
himself that succour was close as far as he could double his efforts and
help her secure a good job. Ngozi almost finished with a First Class
degree but that guarantees nothing in Nigeria due to the fragile nature
of the local economy coupled with high rate of corruption among the
leaders in the country.
Ngozi was finally able to secure a 'small job' as a primary school
teacher which paid her a paltry sum of N30,000 as monthly salary but she
had no patience at all. She didn’t want to reap her rewards in heaven
like other teachers.
"I think she felt she is a beautiful person whose beauty could
attract a better man with a strong financial base. She had a bitter
taste of poverty when she was growing up and was scared of going through
the ordeal again. She tried hiding her fears but they were written
boldly on her forehead" distraught Kabiru narrated.
Kabiru also complained that Ngozi had a legendary hypocritical approach towards life and she was really ‘tight-fisted’.
“Ngozi lives a double life and she could be expertly secretive
thereby preventing people around her from knowing her true self. She
tried to have a clean slate in life as she felt she was a role model to
other people. She would constantly clear her Facebook and Whatsapp
chats, hide certain phone applications and also lock her phone. She
loved to wipe off her browsing history as she visited questionable pages
intermittently”
“I hate to say this..... but Ngozi is the kind of lady who
would initiate s*x, enjoy it, demand for more rounds and after she is
satisfied, she would later blame her partner for it, claiming she was
lured into an unbiblical act. Who does that?” Kabiru asked sounding so emotional with tears welled in his eyes.
He then continued after taking a deep breath and putting himself
together as if he was going to break down; “I think she is a very stingy
person. She never believed in giving. I ostensibly got nothing from her
if romance is taken out of the equation. I was like a fool. A happy
fool for that matter” he emphasized.
Kabiru left the company's apartment after saving up enough money to
secure a room and a parlour flat to start his life. The rental of the
apartment alongside of other bottlenecks associated with renting houses
gulped about N400,000 aside the purchase of properties and other
necessities for which he expended N500,000 more funds. Ngozi played a
pivotal role in helping set up the apartment as she monitored the
carpentry and electrical works. As poor Kabiru felt like an achiever
after emptying his bank account, he was stunned when Ngozi revealed she
wasn't going to live in that house as his wife if they eventually get
married. She also demanded that he should go buy a car before she would
put to bed in the marriage. It was from this moment Kabiru started
getting the true picture of her. Ngozi’s loyalty was listed for sale on
e-Bay and Jumia.
The scale eventually fell off Kabiru's eyes when Ngozi went on a
date with a man she claims has been her toaster for almost a decade.
Ngozi had already gone on a date with this same fellow at the inception
of the relationship which Kabiru frowned at on being told. After
enjoying the date to which her sister accompanied her, Ngozi took
pictures of the assorted fishes, drinks and Nkwobi – a local meal and
kept them on her phone to relish the good memories. Out of guilt and
probably because a colleague of kabiru got wind of the date, Ngozi out
of fear decided to go ahead of the potential saboteur or informant to
report herself. Kabiru was heartbroken and it became clear to him that
that he was fiddling with a ticking bomb.
Kabiru is of the opinion that the tough quest for survival in
Lagos as well as the biting economic realities is affecting the psyche
and behavioural tendencies of Lagosians.
"In Osun State, life was different; a beautiful lady could love
you for just your life vision and goals alone without necessarily
seeing any trace of concrete success. It’s all about potentials and not
really present realities. People over there are generally poor but they
are happy and contented. Pseudo or direct prostitution was never
prominent as we have in Lagos today. Here, there is no difference
between a good and a bad girl when wads of cash are involved" Kabiru said.
Kabiru who is fast becoming a consultant on relationship issues
after his ordeal claims majority of ladies in Lagos are wary of poverty
so they tend to use what they have to secure what they want.
"I think it’s all about making hay while the sun shines. If
your beauty is your strength, then you can use it to attract the man
with your desired bank account. Some use their bogus breasts and bums to
get what they want. Others use their body shapes while others boast
about their sexual or cooking prowess. Ngozi left me after her chances
of landing an executive job became slimmer. The unemployment and
inflation rate have made things worse for people" he concluded.
On the 1st of October, 2017, Kabiru's relationship slipped into
coma as Nigerians celebrated Independence Day. Ngozi who started by
frowning her face at him in Church during the Sunday service later made
up an excuse that he wasn't religious enough for her liking and she
would love to date someone that was 'close to God'. Kabiru being a smart
reporter was more focused on what she wasn't saying rather than her
words. He withdrew a bit and started grappling with reality. They
stopped talking from that moment and 5 days later, Ngozi dropped the
bombshell that she was done with him. This was just four days to his
birthday which Ngozi claimed she had plans for. Yes, she had a plan
truthfully but it was a plan to do nothing. Ngozi wasn't even kind
enough for drop a single birthday wish for her former benefactor who
assisted her financially from the little he made as salary monthly.
For about two weeks, Kabiru will pay attention to the entrance of
his house hoping Ngozi would come knocking like she used to every
weekend but it never happened. Ngozi had embraced 'Jesus Christ' in a
covert operation to catch a big fish in her Church which was like an
assembly of the affluent. She joined her Church choir and started taking
weekly and Sunday programmes seriously. Kabiru almost felt her reason
for leaving was genuine until he was told how Ngozi boasted about
meeting some rich and young guys in her church who drove big rides. She
even advised a neighbour who was in a long-term relationship to try out
her Church to see if he could meet 'big girls'. This was a concealed
fortune-seeking and fortune-hunting move. It was never about her
salvation. It was about her survival and selfish interests.
Kabiru is hopeful about picking up the pieces and giving love a
shot again. This time, he is considering storming some remote villages
far from civilization in a desperate hunt for his future partner.
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