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The modern mistress is in control. She calls the shots. The modern
mistress isn’t lonely and unhappy. She isn’t waiting for a call from her
married boyfriend. She knows that he is married but she doesn’t care
about his wife. She enjoys her freedom and believes that she is better
off than the wife he keeps at home.The modern mistress knows marriage forces the wife to cede control
over her life while the modern mistress who is the other woman, who is
having an illicit affair has an autonomy while she is enjoying a loving
relationship at the same time.
Long gone are the days when you had sympathy for the mistress
because in many instances they were ignorant. Now, she needs no pity
because she is living a more glamorous life than the wife. The modern
mistress knows what she is going into, she gladly walks into it and she
enjoys it while it lasts.
When she is done she moves on to another man. They call them serial
mistresses, but I call them professional side chics. This is what their
resume looks like: zero emotion, secret rendezvous, illicit s*x, and an
expensive lifestyle.
Moreover, the modern mistress understands that s*x without
commitment is fun and empowering. So she is enjoying both worlds because
she knows the society conditions women into taking a back seat in a
relationship and teaches them to compromise their lives to benefit their
husbands. She isn’t cut out for that kind of life. For her, marriage is
a no-no!
The modern mistress thrives on the excitement of falling in love
and living for the moment. However, they all have one thing in common:
thriving careers or businesses, tastefully furnished posh houses
situated in choice areas and comfortable lifestyles.
They understand the intricacies of being the other woman, they know
there is a high probability to end up with no power at all as a
mistress but these ones play the game intelligently and so, they always
end up holding the full deck of cards. They control things.
Unlike the popular culture of falling in love and living happily
ever after, these ones have decided to question the society’s definition
of a successful relationship. They get the best of the men they are
having affairs with, ignore the rest and find a recipe for their
happiness by living this way.
Besides, they don’t have to wash their men’s smelly boxers, clean
the kitchen floor or do countless chores like the wives at home but
instead they fix glittering nails, wear beautiful make up and lovely
dresses and they get taken to the best restaurants in designer stiletto
heels, given expensive presents and treated like a queen.
Taaaah! Whether we like it or not, the modern mistress is glamorous!
I once had a chat with a lady, who is not married, on the issue of
marriage and she told me she was fine being the other woman. She was
aware her boyfriend was married and she wasn’t bothered. She told me she
needed her space and she enjoyed the relationship because she had a lot
of independence. I asked if she wasn’t afraid. She looked into my eyes
and told me there was nothing to be afraid of.
These things are happening now and we see them every day. They are
our neighbours, sisters, nieces, aunties and even mothers. We see them,
nod our heads, whisper in hushed tones and walk away. We are helpless.
We can’t do anything about them because it’s not our business how a man
decides to spend his money and treat his wife.
Despite the fact that the subject of extramarital affairs and the
role of the mistress is a taboo in a modern world, it is obvious that
the modern mistress is getting more sophisticated by the day.
So how come that the same topic that is often talked about in
whispers, viewed as morally corrupt and that usually ends in a scandal
is getting more glamorous?
Besides, an affair outside marriage is perhaps one of the oldest
sins and it still remains highly unacceptable, but how come something
that is highly unacceptable is thriving?
This is happening because our society supports patriarchy. It is so
because our society pats all cheating men at the back. It is so because
a cheating husband is seen as a virile man. We have heard it times
without number that “All men cheat.” We are bored of listening to the
same old lines that “men are wired like that.” It is appalling really
that the same society that shames women when they are caught cheating,
exonerates the men who are the chief philanderers.
A young girl is raised to marry as a virgin while the boy is
allowed to sow his wild oats around. Shame! Promiscuity is an honourable
badge for men while sexual purity is strictly for women. What a double
standard!
That is why we have grown-up adults who can’t control their sexual
appetites. That is why we have great men who call the shots in the
boardrooms become weaklings at the sight of a vagina.
Statistics show that 60 per cent of men will have an extramarital
affair at some point during their marriage. So, the math is very simple.
When we have so many married men having affairs, then there is no way
the modern mistress won’t become empowered. Ha! Her market go sell
wella.
The side chics are daring now; they pick up the phones and call the
wives at home. They lash out at them like they are nothing. Many
married women are scared of them. They are having sleepless nights
because of these ladies. Nigerian married women have burnt candles,
prayed naked at night, bathed at different beaches and drank all sorts
of concoctions because of the side chics, yet it is not working.
There are different types of prayer points and silent cries at night over the side chics but these girls are not relenting.
They torture these women with countless love letters, text messages
and send them all the s*x videos. The women are helpless; they have
fought many times, cured themselves of different sexually transmitted
diseases and were heartbroken but they still stayed. Why? Because the
society tells them to fight for their marriages.
Even when it is killing them they stay while the chief philanderer
is having the best of both worlds. Chei! This is so annoying. The
Nigerian married woman has been raised to take in all the crap and enjoy
the pain; in as much as he is paying her bills she has no right to
complain.
And so what happens to vows? Oh! That is only meant for the
Nigerian wife to adhere strictly to, no matter how badly she is being
treated in her marriage.
No wonder, side chics are rejecting conventions, they prefer a
secretive and often tortuous relationship that they know will end up
breaking homes and ruining lives.
These ones don’t care; when they are done with one man they move to
the next because they know the demand is high. Even when you catch them
with your husband they taunt you and they are not even bothered about
the flurry of accusations, vilest missives which most involves you
calling them whore or home wrecker.
They dust it off their shoulders and continue the affair if they
want to. You don’t tell them to stop; they leave your husband when they
are done. The modern mistress is winning all and gaining all because
these men who are uncontrollable made them.
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Credits: Bolatito on Sunday (The Sun)
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